


My Escape

by Shadowpool95



Series: Needed [2]
Category: Big Time Rush
Genre: F/M, Katy Perry's Thinking of You, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-30
Updated: 2013-07-30
Packaged: 2018-03-06 10:32:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3131321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowpool95/pseuds/Shadowpool95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place years after Big Time Dreams. (It will make Kucy shippers feel better, I promise)</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Escape

**Author's Note:**

> (Originally posted on ff.net)  
> Look! Another oneshot! Again, sorely needed (thanks to Big Time Dreams). As a Kucy shipper, I can't just stand by and allow Jucy canon to be real. Can I ? Of course not. So I heard the song 'Thinking of You' whilst surfing youtube, and this popped in my head and made me feel better. So I wrote it for you guys, so you can feel better too :3 ANd like the summary says it doubles as a prequel to 'Just What I Needed'.  
> \- Shadow

Lucy looked out into the crowd, unable to quell the nerves festering in the back of her mind. The house lights were turned down, as per her request. Her manager had no idea what she planned on doing. Hell, she didn’t know what she planned on doing. She was just going to wing it. But there were two main goals she had for the end of her show.

The first thing was her song. Fresh out of the notebook, never been seen by her team. She was a bit iffy on whether or not she was ready for the reaction to it.

But then the rocker scowled. She’s freaking Lucy Stone. This is _her_ show. _Her_ stage. She’s worked hard to get here and no one had any right to tell her what to sing, nor would she let them.

Letting out a deep breath that had begun to make her head swim, Lucy stepped forward to the mike stand that had been set up. “Hey guys,” she said to the crowd, trying to be heard over the cheers that were still ringing for her last song.

They eventually quieted down enough for her to try again. “Hey guys. I want to try something… a bit new.”

The cheers started up again. Lucy took a few calming breaths until they stopped. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind that her fans loved her.

“It’s a bit slower and more docile than my usual stuff, but it needs to be sung. I was in a relationship a while back now, and it ended on a bit of a sour note.” She cleared her throat. “Okay, a lot of a sour note,” she added with a chuckle.

The crowd laughed with her.

“I know there’s no way in hell me singing this could make anything better, but it’s a start, right?”

The rocker shared glances with her band, who were each fully informed and practiced on the song they were to play.

They took their cue from Lucy, her guitar leading the tune.

When she began to sing, not a peep was heard from the masses gathered before the stage.

With each verse that left her lips, memories assaulted her mind. It left the words they formed the only thing that kept her rooted in the present, even as they dragged her to the past.

**_Comparisons are easily done_ **   
**_Once you've had a taste of perfection_ **   
**_Like an apple hanging from a tree_ **   
**_I picked the ripest one_ **   
**_I still got the seed_ **

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

_The sharp tang of_ unwanted _rested thick on Lucy’s tongue, even if Kendall hadn’t said the words out loud. Why else would he have picked Jo over her? Why else would she be packing her things, ready to leave her friends and everything behind?_

_The phrase_ life is unfair _ran through her mind, and she hoarsely laughed at it. ‘Unfair’ didn’t even begin to cover it._

_When the last box was packed, Lucy sat in the middle of them, unsure of what to do now._

_Where does she go from here? Back to her parents? Just to the other side of town? There was nowhere that was far enough away, really. So maybe it didn’t matter._

_Maybe she should just hide herself away and not care anymore. That seemed like the safer option. Being broken over and over hurt too much._

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
 ** _You said move on_**  
 ** _Where do I go_**  
 ** _I guess second best_**  
 ** _Is all I will know_**

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

_He kissed her. James Diamond just kissed her. On stage. In front of everyone. So Lucy did the only thing she could._

_She went along with it._

_Because there was Kendall, in the middle of the crowd, cheering his friend on._

_When did she let her actions revolve around a guy?_ That _guy. When did she let any of this happen?_

_James was sweet. Maybe a bit self-centered, but he had good intentions. So why couldn’t she just enjoy him and forget about everything,_ everyone, _else?_

_Just because he wasn’t-_

_That didn’t mean this couldn’t work._

_Maybe she should give it a try._

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**_Cause when I'm with him_ **   
**_I am thinking of you_ **   
**_Thinking of you_ **   
**_What you would do if_ **   
**_You were the one_ **   
**_Who was spending the night_ **   
**_Oh I wish that I_ **   
**_Was looking into your eyes_ **

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

_The food, the music, the atmosphere… it was actually a really nice date. Romantic, relaxed… The rocker would be lying if she said she wasn’t surprised. James was being really sweet and trying his best to talk about what_ she _wanted to talk about._

_But the only thing running through Lucy’s mind was the fact that this was the restaurant her parents had taken her and Kendall to for dinner._

_Lucy shifted in discomfort, trying to not let James catch on to her mood. She smiled at him and laughed at the joke he was telling, convincing herself that glancing over at the table-for-four by the musicians was_ not _wrong._

_It’s just a table… where she sat with the guy she really liked before everything_ went _wrong._

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
 ** _You're like an Indian summer_**  
 ** _In the middle of winter_**  
 ** _Like a hard candy_**  
 ** _With a surprise center_**  
 ** _How do I get better_**  
 ** _Once I've had the best_**  
 ** _You said there's_**  
 ** _Tons of fish in the water_**  
 ** _So the waters I will test_**  
  
 ** _He kissed my lips_**  
 ** _I taste your mouth_**  
 ** _He pulled me in_**  
 ** _I was disgusted with myself_**

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

_Lucy bit her hand to muffle any noise that would be a result of her crying. She felt horrible. So… dirty. James was curled around her, fast asleep. They were spooning naked under the covers, and barely an hour ago the rocker had to clamp her jaw against screaming a name that wasn’t his._

_Disgust coursed through her, but there wasn’t a shred of remorse. And that made her_ sick.

_So she admits it. She was crying._

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
 ** _Cause when I'm with him_**  
 ** _I am thinking of you_**  
 ** _Thinking of you_**  
 ** _What you would do if_**  
 ** _You were the one_**  
 ** _Who was spending the night_**  
 ** _Oh I wish that I_**  
 ** _Was looking into..._**  
  
 ** _You're the best_**  
 ** _And yes I do regret_**  
 ** _How I could let myself_**  
 ** _Let you go_**  
 ** _Now the lesson's learned_**  
 ** _I touched it I was burned_**  
 ** _Oh I think you should know_**

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

_Lucy looked at James with wide eyes. He repeated his question, his voice gentle and not holding any of the anger or jealousy she expected._

_“You’re not really happy, are you Lucy?”_

_She shook her head. “James that’s not-”_

_He flashed a small smile that shone through with the tiniest bit of hurt. “Come on, Luce. We’ve been going out for a month now. I can tell when someone’s not into me.”_

_Lucy felt her irritation flair up at being caught in… whatever this was. “Then what was the entire two years that I’ve known you before you kissed me?! I told you repeatedly that I wasn’t into you.”_

_James’ face hardened, and they were finally approaching grounds that Lucy was familiar with. Anger she could understand and deal with. Sympathy and understanding? Not so much._

_“That was me wanting to give us a chance.” His voice was just as stiff as his expression. “I really liked you. A lot. Is that such a bad thing?”_

_Lucy opened her mouth to shoot back a reply, but no words came out._

_“I thought that maybe when you decided to give us a chance too, that you meant it.” James turned his head away from her. “But I can’t hold you down when you’re still in love with one of my best friends.”_

_Lucy squeezed her eyes shut against the emotions that threatened to overflow. “James, I-”_

_“What?” he asked. “Never meant to hurt me? Didn’t mean for things to turn out like this? Well, they’re just empty words, aren’t they? How much are they actually worth?” He sighed. “I won’t tell him why we broke it off.”_

_When Lucy didn’t have reply for him, James turned around and walked away, leaving her standing alone in the Palm Woods lobby. She watched her one chance at a true escape slip away, only feeling sorry that this time, no one would be there to comfort her from her fall._

_When did she become so selfish?_

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
 ** _Cause when I'm with him_**  
 ** _I am thinking of you_**  
 ** _Thinking of you_**  
 ** _What you would do if_**  
 ** _You were the one_**  
 ** _Who was spending the night_**

  
**_Oh I wish that I_ **   
**_Was looking into your eyes_ **   
**_Looking into your eyes_ **   
**_Looking into your eyes_ **

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

_It had been years._ Years. _Why did his name still force butterflies in her stomach?_

_“Lucy, you still there?” James’ voice echoed through the phone. They had kept in touch, and he had kept her sane, whether he knew it or not. But what he was asking…_

_“Yeah, I’m here,” she replied, dazed. “What’s- what wrong with Kendall?”_

_There was a weighted pause before an answer came. “I think it’d be best if he was the one who told you. But he really needs your help.”_

_Lucy bit her lip, looking at the ceiling of her tour bus._ Why me? _ran through her mind. She repeated the words out loud. “Why me?”_

_“Because he won’t talk to any of the rest of us, and I know you’ll do it.” The last part was said testily. Even though they were friends, there was still some raw feelings._

_Lucy sighed. “Alright, but I’m only going to do it as a friend.”_

_“But I’m trying to hook you up-” She could tell his words were mostly mocking._

_“_ As a friend, _James. I’m not putting myself out there. I don’t even know why you think he needs me, but I’ll do it.”_

_“For him.” His tone was indescribable. “Alright. I’ll text you his address, but then you have to delete it. There’s certain… third parties that he doesn’t want getting it.”_

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
 ** _Oh won't you walk through_**  
 ** _And bust in the door_**  
 ** _And take me away_**  
 ** _Oh no more mistakes_**  
 ** _Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay..._**

The end of the song left her fans quiet for the first time since they stepped into the concert. Lucy looked out at them defiantly, her head held high. Their opinion mattered only in the monetary sense her manager cared about. Despite the sting in her eyes that was _definitely_ not tears, Lucy felt better.

The backlash of her relationships all those years ago had refused to settle with her even to this day. They were still far from gone, but she understood the ache more now than she ever had. It made it easier.

It started as only a few people, but soon the entire crowd was roaring in support and devotion. Lucy caught tears streaming down the faces of even the toughest looking rockers as the house lights slowly turned on.

“You guys are amazing!” She shouted, not ever wanting them to quiet down. But she had to get on to her second goal. “I’m glad this is the place I chose for my last stop. You are the best fans any rockstar could hope for!” The echoes of their cheers doubled. “I have to tell you guys something though,” she added after a bit.

Now the crowd did fall into a hush, eagerly hanging on her every word.

“After this tour I’m going to be off the radar a bit.”

Her words brought on a cascade of noises of displeasure.

Lucy broke into a smile. “I know guys. I’ll miss you too. But I’ve been told that a very good friend of mine is going through a rough patch. And honestly I’d do anything for this guy, so of course I’m going to help.” She ducked her head as a collective ‘awww’ swept through the stands. God damn it. She’s going soft.

Lucy coughed to cover up her embarrassment. “I will be back,” she plowed on, “but I don’t know how long I’ll be gone. You’ll wait for me, won’t you?”

The sheer volume of the response to her question was enough of an answer. Lucy strummed a heavy chord on her guitar before heading off stage. That went better than she expected.

She walked past her manager, who was understandably furious. But she didn’t care.

Because the escape she had taken all those years ago hadn’t worked, and had actually come back to bite her. Hard. She’s on the verge of doing something she swore up and down she wouldn’t.

However, there was a pair of arms at the end of a long drive that she knew she would fall into, even if he needed her more at the moment. Even if she had herself convinced that she didn’t want it.

But no matter how she looked at it, no matter what angle she tried, she knew that this time there wasn’t an escape.


End file.
